It has been a bit of a crazy time in the life of the Wilson family and thus very little time for me to write. The thoughts and ideas keep crashing up on the shores of my mind and heart, but there is little time to sit and process. A flat tire and time hanging out in a repair shop has provided a brief oasis for sitting and writing this morning.
In the past year, every member of the original Wilson family 7 has changed address at least one time. Our youngest son reminded me recently that he has moved seven times over the past 12 months. This thought exhausts me.
The recent move of the remaining Wilson clan 4 has been well chronicled and documented in earlier blogs. Our eldest boy changed neighborhoods in Chicago because his long time roommate married and became a daddy. In addition, he is in the process of moving into new education opportunities that, from his mother’s perspective, seem to fit him well. Our minimalist middle guy will within days trek from Chicago to Boston. I admire the fact that all of his worldly possessions will fit into his small Toyota Corolla. He is set lightly on this earth.
Our youngest son will within weeks make vows before God, family and friends and begin life in his new nuclear family. A few weeks ago, we helped him tromp some of his “stuff” up to the 3rd floor apartment of a lovely historic home in a place just over 30 minutes from us. This will become their first home together. Walking this path and going up and down those steps with him triggered a well of feelings. Nostalgia, tinged with a bit of jealousy, as well as reminiscing and pondering of days gone by in my own marriage. Vows made, first apartment, new beginnings and figuring it all out. In some ways it seems like just yesterday and in other ways it was so very long ago. If I had only known then what I know now…but it doesn’t work that way. Much life has been lived since our own wedding day.
Part of the trek up to the new home.
In the midst of all of these shifts, my parents have moved and are in the process of settling in a community about 40 minutes away. They are making decisions about where to be, what to keep and how to live out the latter years of their lives. It is easier for me to part with material possessions than it is for my mom. I imagine that her description of this sometimes tension would better represent her perspective. Respecting her process and trying to walk alongside and provide genuine help and encouragement has been my goal. During a recent day of unpacking, I blurted out, “Mom, really???”. It was when I came across this packed in a box:
She said, “oh, I meant to throw that away before you got here because I knew you would give me a hard time.” I see no need to save old Easter basket grass. At one point, she gave me a few of my old baby blankets. As a mom myself, I understand how difficult it can be to part with things that represent our children’s baby days. I assured her that I would “take care of it”. She let me know that she read between the lines of my coded message.
Some of the treasures we sorted through
There was one other move that my husband and I were a part of this month. Our friend Harold showed up at our Sunday school class a little over a year ago. As the weeks passed and he leaked out more and more of his story, all in our class lived life beside and bore witness to a man who slid into homelessness and then creeped back out. Just as I referred to in my last blog, there were many moments of holy discomfort as we lived such a materially rich life alongside this brother who was working hard to keep his head above water. After a great deal of work, scattered with setbacks, our friend moved into his own private space this past weekend. This was my favorite move of the year.
Sometimes I tell myself that “after________, (could be filled in with a myriad of events, activities, crises), life will settle down.” I am currently in the process of realizing that with an active family, aging parents and the desire to live with an open heart, this is real living and things will not settle. My goal and challenge is to take good care of myself so that I will have the energy and desire to engage in all the various moving parts around me. For me, taking walks, cooking healthy food, practicing yoga, making time for good books, saying no to many things and listening to my body and taking action when it tells me something is off kilter are included in self care. I would love to hear how you take care of yourself to participate in all of the moving parts in your own life.
