My writing life has had to lie fairly dormant during this season of change and move and settling. Thankfully, we now have all of our furniture and can see the light at the end of the “making this place our home” tunnel. I wish for more space and time to do the things that I love and high on that list is writing.
Arrow III became a part of our family in the winter of 2012. His predecessors, Arrow I and Arrow II, lived very brief beta fish lives. He was a birthday gift to our youngest, highly heart sensitive, animal loving girl, and this mom was determined that she would have a pet fish that lived longer than a week. The third fish was the charm and he has been loved and cared for by a child with a very nurturing and big heart for almost 3 years.
He has been in decline for a while. Back in July, friends who keep him for us when we vacation were concerned that he might not make it until we returned. But several times when we thought that he was about to depart this life, he would perk back up and be coaxed by his caretaker to keep on swimming. Until last week.
He was struggling. My sweet daughter and I had many conversations around his decline. Do fish feel pain? Was it time for us to help him along? We had been told that if you put a fish in the freezer, their lives end quickly. One day she tried to do it, but she just could not. She asked me to do it but as I tried to get him out, he darted around, swam to the top of his tank and displayed too much life for me to end it.
But several days ago, he was lying almost sideways in his tank and did not scoot around when jiggled. I knew it was time. Having been given permission by his caretaker, I did what seemed best. It was hard. My girl talked and cooed to this fish like he was a newborn baby.
When she got home from school and I shared the news, she grieved and cried and began to plan his funeral. I got home a bit late that evening and she and her dad were laying Arrow to rest. She wanted him to have a grave marker and so we searched our yard and here is where he is laid to rest.
We have an almost 15 year old dog, and the day may come when we are faced with this decision about him. Maybe this was a small preparation for a choice that will be much more difficult for me personally. Loss and saying goodbye are a big part of life. I am grateful that my girl and I walked through this together and for all the lessons learned from Arrow the well loved fish.
