It has been over a month since I last took time to put into print the swirling thoughts that dance through my heart and mind. It is not due to a lack of dance partners but a result of very few chunks of time for writing. This past month has been a negotiation between participating in joyous events, doing the myriad details and tasks needed to host these affairs and making time and space for self care and important relationships along the way. Blog writing had to go. It is nice to be back.
Rather than focus on one topic, this will be a brief recap of some of the thoughts and feelings that have cried out to me over the last month. Some are personal and some are communal. Some are light and others heavy. Both my own personal life and the life of our nation seems to be moving at a rapid pace. When my husband announced to me this morning that 2015 was half over, I felt a jolt of surprise. I still pause when writing a check to remember if it is 2014 or 2015. It is difficult to keep up with the swift pace of life.
Introductions: Though at first a bit awkward and surprising, I have taken great delight in the transition of introducing our newest family member as “my son’s fiance” to now “my daughter-in-law” to neighbors and friends. We spent a recent morning together, just the two of us. We discussed what might become “our thing” and agreed that eating out is a passion we share. At a nearby local and delicious Mexican restaurant, we began our new journey of connection around good food and conversation.
Haley Jessica photography
Baby steps: I grew up in South Florida which makes my upbringing neither northern nor southern. Though I have lived in “the south” for almost all of my adult life, it is still often a foreign land to me. I vividly recall the first days at my North Carolina liberal arts university as there was much talk of north vs. south and bizarre times of frat guys riding around on horses waving the confederate flag. Wasn’t that war over more than 100 years ago? What in the world is the Mason-Dixon line? I just didn’t get it…and I still don’t. This flag is a sign of a sad and oppressive and ugly part of our country’s history. To me, it stands for white supremacy, hatred and a shameful time when our country treated people of color in a disgraceful manner. My wish is that its’ removal from government property will be a baby step in the direction of respectful listening to the voices of those who have experienced great pain and suffering.
A Confederate flag flies outside the South Carolina State House in Columbia, South Carolina January 17, 2012. REUTERS/Chris Keane
Shoe overhaul: There comes a time in the lives of most women when high heels are a thing of the past. That time for me, is now. I gathered up a large shopping bag full of beautiful yet impractical shoes to pass on to younger feet. My new best shoe friends include Dansko, Naot, Chaco and Teva. Two back surgeries seven years ago combined with three recent trips to the podiatrist convinced me that taking care of my back and feet are important parts of the foundation of self care needed to live a long, satisfying and active life. A few wedges made the cut, but the stiletto heels are definitely out. Goodbye old friends.
Rapid change: The SCOTUS has been busy and stirred up a great deal of heated discussion from many fronts. From gay marriage to the Affordable Care Act to lethal injections to redistricting and beyond, rapid fire change is in motion. These are not topics that are discussed well in a facebook status or a tweet, though many are choosing that route to air strong emotions. It feels like a lot of shouting and screaming with an extreme lack of listening or respect for “the other”. As I recently told a 70 plus year old friend and mentor, “I just want to live each day and each moment with grace, compassion and a wide open heart – no matter who I cross paths with on a given day.” That is sometimes a challenge in this divided, intense, sound byte, choose your side world in which I move and live.
We each have a story that deserves a chance to be heard and received. Thank you for so often listening to mine. And may we each be open to receive the story of another – especially an other who is quite different from ourself – with true presence, compassion, grace and love. It seems to me that only then can we step in the direction of true change in this world.
